Lending Money to Friends

Lending Money to Friends

Some time ago I was contacted by a one of my Facebook friends to borrow some money. He was in a bit of a dilemma. He asked if he could borrow $50-$100 as times were tough, and he was struggling with his current work. I wasn’t too sure about all the details – but I genuinely questioned this overnight if I should or not. During the 12 – 14 hours I thought it over, discussed it with my wife – I was hounded rather frequently from said friend about if I would or not.

A few reasons why I ended up saying no was, at this point in time I hadn’t properly seen this friend in about two years. He used to be significant others with a good friend of mine, but they had the year earlier split, and she was with a new partner.

I had tried to make contact to catch up with him on a couple of occasions throughout that year, but had been knocked back every time, so I had given up trying. My life was changing as I was becoming a dad of two.

I thought probably little of this for the next few weeks, until I saw his post about how it as his birthday – and he had been out to dinner with family and ‘close friends’. I had not been invited. I had to admit, I was a little hurt by this – perhaps he didn’t invite me because I had said no? Or perhaps he didn’t view me as a close friend?

Another few months went by and he again asked for the same amount of money. At this stage I had quite publically through my social media dropped back to part time work to care for my two children – and I instantly (and somewhat sarcastically) told him I could not – times were tough ourselves, me being part time. This was also pre diagnosis of my son.

A few months later – I was contacted again – while I empathised that he is going through a tough time – I was growing quite impatient. I wrote him a rather lengthy and aggressive reply – but deleted it.

I was going to involve his ex, as they were still good friends despite splitting – but decided against it. I then sought the advice of another friend – who knows them both quite well also – (he is one of those guys who can tell me if I am right or wrong). He thought that lending money to someone who doesn’t have any is probably a bad idea – because then, they will be in debt to you, and you will likely not see that money back. I was probably not the only person they were asking.

This time, I politely told him that I would not now, or ever lend him money. It was just not something I was able to do – nor feel comfortable in doing. No surprises that I haven’t heard from him since.

Lending money out to people is probably something I’m not ever going to do, or able to do.

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