A couple of years ago I posted on my being diagnosed with anxiety after finally seeing medical professionals about the reason I felt the way I do inside; such as being very aware of my heart beating in my chest, and a sense of unease for no reason.
Over the couple of years since then, I have had my ups and downs. I had a bit of a setback about 18 months ago where I almost was back at square one with how I was feeling originally.
I returned to my GP, who recommended trying a different medication. This meant that I needed to detox from my original medication in order to start up on the new. This was not an overly fun experience.
The level of understanding and support I was given my boss, who gave me a few days off in order to get used to this change in my body, was overwhelming. Even though I had been at this job for over 3 years at that stage, I still have the pangs of doubt from being burned so badly by my previous managers at my previous job – when I told them I was suffering from mental illness, I got met with silence. I still think that some of my insecurities and low self-esteem are caused by this guy.
Mid last year I felt this “square one” feeling returning. I met up with a good friend who himself has his own issues with mental health. I questioned whether or not I should go to a stronger medication and he was apprehensive about this. He suggested that I see go speak to someone instead.
I decided to take the steps and do this, and earlier this year I went to go speak to a psychologist. It was — to hear a professional hear that it was warranted that I feel like this. Life is hard, especially with a special needs child. She has also given me plenty of exercises to do, as well as shown me different types of ‘reasons I might be thinking unreasonably and ways to think more positively.
Life is hard. It’s okay not to be okay. If you are struggling, go speak to someone. Don’t keep it inside.